Alright, Here is where I need some advice blog world. If there anyone reading this, please let me know how you would handle this situation.
When I started dating CJ back in 2011 I had just spent two years losing 100lbs, I felt great and looked great and was out of long-term relationship so I was excited to have some fun with someone new. For the first six or so months of us dating I didn’t put too much thought into his or my diet. I kept up with my routine, I actually was in the middle of training for my half, but other than that we went out, and had fun. When I met him he was a mess, he smoked, and drank a case of beer every night, ate mcdonanalds everyday, multiple times a day, and was well over 300lbs.
I finally made the decision to talk to him and tell him that my diet and health and fitness were extremely important to me and that he needed to be on board or this wasn’t going to work. At the time he was willing to do what ever it took and right then and there he quit smoking, stopped eating like crap, and signed up for the gym.
Back then I was living in one town and he was living about an hour away in another. It was easy for me to keep up with my diet and routine because nothing really changed, I would work, come home and go to the gym, run on the weekend, and continue to cook for me and my mom the way I was. CJ would come down on the weekends and we would enjoy our time together before he went back to work on Monday (or I would stay up with him until he moved out of his place). He did amazing!He was eating healthy and going to the gym and he lost 80lbs was healthy and looked fantastic…..then we moved in together.
The plan was always when we moved in together he would be able to make it to crossfit everyday and I would be cooking so he would have an easy time staying healthy. But reality was, between stress of money, stress of driving an hour to work everyday, he never makes it into the box and he could care less about his diet. The worst of all is he has become this serious serious night binger. When I go to bed at night he stays up and eats..ALOT. When I get up in the morning there is multiple bags of food in the garbage.
I didn’t want to be the person that didn’t buy him food he liked. I’m not his mom and he’s a grown man, if he wants popcorn and chips then I’ll buy them. But he has lost ALL control. He never orders anything healthy when we go out anymore and has gone back to drinking regularly on week nights.
I know stress is the #1 issue here. He is beyond stress with work, and finances and I understand that. I don’t want to blame him for my weight gain or my unhealthy habits but I can’t help but think that if our household was healthy things would be different. It’s really easy to order out when your partner pushes for that to be it. It’s easy to sit and eat popcorn at night when your partner pops it and sits next to you….He never wants to work out with me or even go for a walk. He does NO physical activity what so ever.
This month he is supposed to be transferring jobs down closer to home, I’m hoping this will help. I keep making suggestions for fun things for him to do to get active, I understand crossfit isn’t for everyone, especially when it’s your girlfriend coaching you. The other night I suggested when he moves that he should put together a basketball league with some guys…couple nights a week, meet to play.
I’m just lost at what to do. I find myself really getting concerned on the way he eats and everyone tells me to mind my business because they are right, he is a grown man with his own mind. BUT this is important to me. Being healthy and fit is something I want established in my home. It’s something I want to teach my children some day….I just don’t know how to approach this issue any more. Any time I bring it up it becomes a fight, very similar to when I was over weight and my family wanted to talk about it…..
Like I said. ANY and ALL advice are welcome. If you’ve been in this situation please let me know how you handled it.